Thirty Minutes of North Seattle
I'd be rich if I could make this kind of stuff up.
Hello Readers,
First of all, I wasn’t planning to write anything for today, but I’m dealing with gastroparesis symptoms, and it’s just too interesting not to. Second of all, the above photo was taken by me like fifteen years ago when I was in Portland, Oregon. It was the parking lot at which the food cart I worked at was parked. I chose it because everything kind of feels upside down AND tilted.
So….my partner and I went to the store together. She’s recovering from open heart surgery, and although she wasn’t feeling well, she wanted to get out of the house. I had her sit at one of the few bus stops along Whore-ora….excuse me, I mean Aurora Ave., that doesn’t get a lot of vagrants hanging out smoking fentanyl or sorting through all the stuff they just stole from Walgreen’s or wherever.
Anyways, it has a nice bench and a shelter if needed since it was overcast and super windy, not to mention still cold. I left to go to Petsmart and Amazon Fresh since they have $4 eggs. Safeway’s did go down to $5.99, but you’ll have to keep reading to know why I know that.
While I was gone, however, an old man pulled up in a sedan in the parking lot behind the stop and got out to sit on the curb by which he parked. She was sitting on the wooden bench that is perpendicular to the road and so they could see each other.
He then said, “Hi, you’re the first person I’ve smoked a cigarette in front of. Would you like to join me? I’ll give you a cigarette.”
Both of us are pretty nice to a fault most times and so she agreed and went and sat on her cane/chair combo on the curb on the other side of his car so that she wasn’t too close. He would go on to explain that he just quit being a Jehovah’s Witness and had drank a beer for the first time, too. He then mentioned that he wanted to buy a porno mag, at which I laughed about pretty hard. He’s just like those Amish teens that get their two weeks of liberty.
It was around this time that my partner realized that he might be autistic to some degree. He then asked her if she had a boyfriend, and she quickly retorted that I was to return soon. He was visibly dejected, but then followed with, “You know, if you didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d hit on you. Would you like that?”
Her memory hasn’t been that great and so she couldn’t remember how she answered that, but soon thereafter she happened to mention that we smoke weed, and he just left at that point, lol. It’s legal here, but I guess that was too much for his list of new experiences.
By that time I was on my way to Amazon Fresh across the street from Petsmart only to find out that they no longer allow masks in their store. I’m surprised because COVID is on the rise in our area. Our friend’s adult son got it last week.
I’ve had to give up on Stripe. They won’t budge, so if you’d like to support my creativity, help my partner get through recovering from open heart surgery, and/or help to provide for a few dozen rescued guinea pigs, please buy me a coffee, or donate directly via CashApp: $minus1digit.
THEN, while we waited for the bus, we saw a hooker walking down the street on the other side. She was Mexican, and we know this because some rival pimps came out of nowhere and started harassing her causing her to turn around and walk the other way. They looked dangerous, and the homeless guy waithing for the bus with us told us that they have guns and have been regularly harassing hookers with some of them running for their lives.
In any case, we had to go to Safeway to get $6 eggs. My partner waited at the front while I did the shopping. I went to go down the aisle and three mid-twenties people were standing in an obstructive way where I had to pass between two of them at first. I passed behind the woman and she suddenly walked back into me, and as she did, her hand crept along my crotch as I helped to keep her from falling. My thinking is that she might have thought it was her friend or boyfriend standing behind her. He was big and tall and reminded me of that fluffy guy on Lost. Was his name Hector? Need to watch that again.
Anyflirt, she knows the size of my package now whether she intended that or not. It’s been a while since I’ve been felt up like that, but we’re laughing about it. I’ve seen them around a few times, so maybe I’ll get an answer one day, I mean, there’s no apology needed….[[|:-D
Now, for a bonus story. The other day when we went to the weed store, which happens to be in a more sketchy area than where we live. I was waiting outside with my partner’s walker while she went inside. After a moment, a twenty-something black guy and Mexican gal walked up. She gave him money and very specific instructions on what to buy and then sat next to me on the cement barrier they have in front of their store since someone crashed into it last year.
I guessed that they were homeless, and I ended up being right. She had on headphones, but she kept saying things quietly and then would look at me. I just nodded and smiled not really having heard what she said. After we left, we were smoking a cigarette by the bus stop, and they started coming our way. It all seemed normal until they separated and she started yelling at someone, who I think was her friend now standing by the gas station wall, facing it, which is behind the bus stop.
This rant was in English, but then she quieted for a bit. We then saw her crossing the street with another man who looked to be Mexican, but the traffic was going, and it’s a highway, aka Aurora Ave. The man was able to get traffic to stop for her as she was now ranting in Spanish while they slowly walked across the street.
He tried to get her to follow him down that way, but she stopped and continued to yell in Spanish, and then when traffic stopped, she walked half way back and stood by the thin median in the turn lane right by some cars wanting to turn and was even louder as she yelled. It seemed like she was looking at us, along with another man next to us who was commenting on her behavior.
She was making my partner nervous, but luckily the bus was due, and we left her ranting in Spanish in the middle of the highway.
There’s rarely a dull moment on Aurora Whore-ealis, especially when you live right next to the Methodone clinic/halfway house most of these vagrants frequent, if not for Methodone, then for some kind of drug deal. I’ve been wanting to take a video, but I’m nervous about it. Some of them obviously have many screws loose like the one guy who always wears a poncho—as in a real one—and he blatantly walks around and checks all of the parked car doors.
It’s getting really bad here. In fact, one of our new neighbors had his truck stolen from our parking garage, and that’s after they updated all of the fob sensors and gave us all new fobs. He’s even more pissed because he had recently bought about $2,000 worth of parts he was planning to put on it.
So, yeah, we really need to get the actual fuck out of this place and we could definitely use your help….[[|;-)
Thank you so much for reading. Please consider recommending my substack. I hope you imagine having a wonderful day….[[|:-)
Everything in my Gumroad shop is 25% off if you use the promo code: PRIMETIME
So insane all that happened! And this is all in north seattle?? So sketchy!